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1. "I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, 'So does the guy I stole it from.'" â David Letterman 2. "Let's be naughty.
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Table of Contents Funny Merry Christmas Wishes Here are a few of our favorite funny Christmas wishes. I hope Santa fills our socks with cash instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wishing you a happy Christmas! Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow.
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100+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages & Greetings During the Christmas season, happiness takes over like the snow in winter. It's a time to celebrate like never before, and what better way to set the mood than with a funny Christmas wish? These humorous Christmas wishes are sure to spread holiday joy and bring smiles to your loved ones.
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Winston Spear "At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional." - Robert Godden This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it's better than all the other ones. Guy Endore Kaiser My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running.
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" " May I give a beautiful word on this holiday occasion. Christmas was only the first one, rest are just the anniversaries that follow. Merry Christmas! " " Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send my lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!"
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Wishing you the gifts of the season â Peace, Joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon. Time to get into the Christmas spirit - vodka, wine, rum, etc. Santa saw your Facebook - you're getting a dictionary this year! If you look for me at Christmas, Don't forget to check the local bar! Money is scarce, times are hard; here is your lovely Christmas card!
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Instead, he put me on the naughty list just for being related to you! Christmas time is a great time for everyone to guess each other's sizes - and get it wrong every time. Merry Christmas! When it comes to Christmas, there are four stages everyone goes through. 1) You believe in Santa.
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People send Christmas gifts and cards with heart warming Christmas messages to their relatives and friends Add joy and laughter this season with funny christmas quotes, Christmas wordings, Christmas Gifts, Funny Christmas wishes and Funny Christmas Messages that will tickle your friends' funny bones.Share the happiness of this season and be a good blessing to all.
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This Christmas, I'm giving you the gift of my endless patience. Use it wisely! Santa's list just confirmed what I already knew - I'm getting coal this year for marrying you! Merry Christmas! I've hidden your present where you'll never find it - right where you left your keys.
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- Ginjas! (We never get tired of this Christmas holiday joke!) Christmas is Claus for celebration! It's the most wine-derful time of the year. This holiday season let us treasure what is truly important in all our lives, the reason for the season: your Cookies. You know those commercials where the present is a brand new car with a big red bow?
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Ho Ho Ho! Have a very merry Christmas, or as Santa says, "happy holidays at the only time of the year I work." May Santa fill your stocking with gift cards, the only presents that say, "I have no idea what you like." May your Christmas lights work the first time, for once. Here's to a silent night, followed by a loud and joyful Christmas morning.
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100 Funny Christmas Wishes for friends and family / Navigating Mummyhood / By Kirsty Christmas is about a lot of things and means different things for different people, but I am sure we can all agree it is about family, love and being together wherever possible.
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Best Funny Christmas Messages for Cards. Here are some of the very best, funny Christmas messages for cards. Whether you send these funny Christmas greetings in a card through the post, pair them with a gift, or pop them on the front of the family photo greeting, they are sure to elicit a chuckle â or two or three. Mostly, these are funny.
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40 Funny Christmas Card Sayings and Messages. Ah, the time of year that starts with decking the halls with boughs of holly and quickly devolves to wanting to deck your family members with fists of fury. Whether it's Aunt Carol asking why you're still single, mom and dad harassing you about getting off the family phone plan, or Grandpa Joe.
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Merry Christmas, I'm the Morecambe to your Wise, the Wallace to your Gromit, the Del Boy to your Rodney. In other words, I'm the funniest one. It's been a tough old year so just get Santa to leave his credit card under the tree and I'll treat myself.